It all began on a late November night. My father had recently had a stroke and he began to turn for the worst. I woke to a phone call from my aunt saying she booked me a plane ticket to North Carolina and I needed to be in San Diego by 5:00 to get on a flight. As I stumbled through papers and clothes I managed to pack a suite case which was missing more that half of the stuff I needed. I crawled into the passenger seat of my car as we drove an hour and half down the freeway to catch what will become the worlds longest flight.
Non-stop to North Carolina is nearly 5 hours, so imagine adding a couple stops and some traffic once we landed combined with utter exhaustion from lack of sleep and over worrying. I finally make it to my destination, my fathers bedside, where reality begins to sink in. I starts to sink in that he won't be with us much longer and all the things we had planned would never become a reality.
Within 4 days of my dad having a stroke he left our sides here on earth and became an angel in heaven watching over all of us. the first 2 months without him were without a doubt the hardest. I would find myself waiting for his call or wanting to talk to him. A song would come on the radio and I would instantly fall into tears. The pain of loosing one of your parents/ best friends is truly unexplainable, and unless you have someone, it is hard to understand.
As soon as i began to realize that my dad was gone, and wasn't coming back, my mind began to swell with the wish I would have's, the maybe I could have's, the things he was going to miss, and the things we would never share. And they fill my my mind until I burst with warm salty tears....and for the longest time these feelings are hard to shake and hard to control.
And this is where my habits began to turn...
